The day me and my boyfriend signed the lease to our new place, I felt overwhelmed with a feeling I don’t think I could ever describe with words. It was an anxious feeling between excitement and fear.
We had been talking about this day for a long time, however it just seemed to come a little faster than expected.
We began checking out a few places in June, and ended up getting keys in the beginning of July. Though my parents knew we were looking to move out, this for me was not a long enough period of time to come to terms with what was happening – it especially was not long enough admit to my parents.
I was the last child living at home, and to both them and me- it was the end of an era. We were always very close and the thought of not having weekend breakfasts together, and our daily dinners was mind blowing.
This whole situation ended up leaving me in a very awkward position. Though I wanted to be excited along with my boyfriend, shop for new furniture, and experience everything of this new step in my life I couldn’t as I did not want to hurt my parents more.
I think it was this reason alone that I could not be as excited as I’d hoped to be when this day came.
The morning of my last day at my parents’ house was met with nerves and sadness. Because I had already packed all my boxes into my car the night before when nobody was home- me and my mom ended up sitting and having breakfast in awkward silence. Neither one of us wanted to admit to the fact of what was happening.
I had planned with our cable guy to come in the early afternoon to set up everything with my boyfriend meeting him at the place. But of course the cable guy came 30 minutes early, and my boyfriend came 30 minutes late… It was a great start to an already tough day.
Once there, we were all so taken up with cleaning and moving in boxes that it didn’t really hit me that this was my first day not sleeping in my old bed. I had left my bedroom looking exactly the same, with some clothes and shoes left in the closet. This kept both my parents and myself sane in the situation.
It was only once everyone was gone, and we were left in an empty space- the only furniture we owned was a couch and our bed- that it hit me that I no longer lived at home and this was now my new place.
The first night wasn’t too bad because we were both so exhausted by the end of the day that we didn’t care where we slept. It was only until the second night that it sunk in that we were now on our own. This is also when anything and everything that could have gone wrong… did… I dropped my boyfriends laptop cracking a hole in our new floor causing a big fight. After him going to bed still angry, I decided that I was brave enough to man the laundry machine for the first time. I threw in all my towels being insured by my mother over the phone that it would be okay… Now lets fast forward an hour later, me sitting on the floor with all my beautiful white towels now blue, and blue fluff filling every hole of that poor machine. There were tears- lots of them.
Now, please imagine this… I am 24 years old – sitting on the floor crying. This wasn’t something I am too proud of. Calling my mommy for comfort wasn’t too self-assuring either.
When you live at home, your parents are always there. They care for you when you’re sick, they cook for you when you need it, they help you do laundry so your white towels don’t turn blue. They are the security blanket you always thought you needed.
But being alone- it’s not as easy. Though my boyfriend is great, it took us time get into the grove of things. He’s lived alone before, so he never really understood why it was so hard for me to adjust.
In my opinion moving out, especially with another person is a lot harder than doing it on your own (ignoring the financial aspect of it – yes together is easier in this sense). Not only do you have to take their life into consideration when it comes to cooking, cleaning, giving space- but you need to make them understand that they have to do the same. When you’re on your own you follow your own schedule and your own way of doing things.
In these past few months, I learnt that moving out really helps you find yourself. You learn you are capable of a whole lot more than you ever expected. You get to grow independent, confident, and aware of your own life. It is a huge step to take in life- alone or with a significant other, and though many have a lot more troubles than others… It really is an incredible experience. Within a relationship or not, this step is a personal growth for each member individually.
At the end of the day- this transition is hard. It is constant learning, fighting, and making up. You learn to live together and to be a team. You learn to let go of the little things, because there is no walking away (especially if you have a small space).
My only recommendation when preparing to move out alone or with someone… Do it when you know you are ready. I think if I skipped the anxiety of it all, and I was sure I was ready for this huge step in my life I would have enjoyed it more. It is an experience everyone needs to go through at some point, so might as well make it as good of one as possible.
Over time it does get easier. Things settle down, your life gets back on track, and this new place becomes your home… You become an adult overnight.
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