Oh happy Valentines Day. The one day a year that North America stops and accepts Love into its heart. Its the one day where almost all men are confused, and almost all women have higher than life expectations.
We might not all admit we want the romance and the gestures and the utter Cheesiness that we associate with the day- but deep down its there. The need, the urge, the lust for love and chocolate.
Now how can a person not appreciate the biggest Hallmark Day of them all. Where chocolate is double the price, roses are the biggest consumer industry of the day, and romance is all we see around us.
I am admittedly a cheesy individual. I love the idea of love. Every gesture needs to ooze and awe with Love and Romance, and if you’re not being romantic than are you really in love? I’ve always been taught that actions speak louder than words, and I expect your actions to yell.
Now is this train of thought correct? Probably, most definitely, 100% not- but that’s just me and I’ve taught my boyfriend to both love me for my romantic bones, and to ignore me when I whine about his lack of it.
Not all people share the same concept of love and romance- and when you start pushing, they start pulling away… It is your love that ultimately ruins you.
Every couple has the same goal in mind- to be perfect. This perfection is filled with gestures and acts of love that go beyond expectations. Individuals in the relationship always expect bigger and better and without these they feel unhappy as though the love is dying out.
This whole idea that the only way to be happy in a relationship is to achieve perfection is crazy. You end up sabotaging yourself in this struggle for ultimate romance that is not always achievable.
You know the worst part. The biggest blame has to go on our all time favorite cheesy “RomComs” for teaching us that the notion of perfect relationship happens within a week, made up of the perfect romantic gestures.
Here the man of your dreams screws up and within a few hours ends up driving up to your window on a lawn mower serenading you from below. Or how it is supposed to snow on demand as you kiss on the street… The one thing these movies don’t tell us however is that this whole idea of perfection and romance is not always possible to live up to…
Perfection is a myth. Hoping for it, waiting on each gesture to be greater than the one before is crazy.
Wanting more is natural. Knowing your worth is necessary. But expecting something that you know wont happen is just silly.
I’ve been in a happy, loving relationship for almost 5 years now. Not that long in compassion to many, but it has definitely given me a lot of time to learn… Me and Mr. X are happy and in love- but we work on this each and every day. I am a bundle of romance, and he can’t always take the hints very clearly laid out there for him. The worst part is, it has been more than once that my need and want for more than he could offer put us at risk. We have almost ended our own version of a perfect relationship because my expectations were just not achievable. Instead of talking about what I wanted I simply expected him to read my mind.
That’s the worst part too. A lot of us just simply expect that our significant other turns into an ultimate mind reader the second we meet. It’s like a click goes off and poof they know what we want before we do. And yes some of the time this does happen if you’re lucky, but it is not always a realistic expectation.
Now of course Love is the ultimate goal, happiness is always the answer, however arguing is sometimes the only method to success… Without a little yelling; talking out what you need, what you are capable of offering you’re just faking it until you make it- and news flash… you wont make it that way at all.
It’s like they always say- fight for what you believe in, and if you believe in love you will need to fight for it no matter what.
Stop trying to make your relationship perfect. You are risking your own happiness by living in a fairy tale world, surrounded by a major lack in communication. Stop expecting your partner to take the lead and magically figure out what you want them to do. Some people just don’t get the hint and that is okay. The best way to achieve happiness is to know what you want and make it happen yourself…
Feel like going on a date? Plan it yourself.
Want him to plan the dates once in a while? Give him a list of 20 things you’d love to do and let him pick from there once in a while when hes stumped for ideas. Win – Win.
If you are expecting your partner to appear on a lawn mower under your window to serenade you with love… Ask him to cut the grass, turn on some music and make the moment happen the way you want it. If you can’t bring yourself happiness stop expecting someone else to know how.
If you have something to say and need a portal to speak your mind, please Contact Us and let us know! We love hearing from our Guest Authors and our readers!